The Last Conversation

.....so I have to blog about this one and then that's the end of the "community conversations", at least for now.

I return to the Kitsap Federal Credit Union, where Jim and I had a joint account. I was attempting to take some money out, but they wouldn't let me because Jim was the person with the primary account. Never mind that he is dead. In the computer he's alive and vital and running about tossing his money around.

ME: "Hi, so here I am again, I brought in my husband's death certificate yesterday and I want to take out a bit of money."
CASHIER: "Oh, that's right! You brought in the death certificate yesterday but our computers were all down!"
ME: "Right."
CASHIER: "So....do you want to take your husband off the account?"
ME: ".....What?"
CASHIER: "Do you want to take your husband off the account?"
ME: "Well, I think HE did that."
CASHIER: "He DID? Because we don't have any record of...."
ME (interrupting): "Well, you know, he's.........dead."
CASHIER: "We KNOW that, but it's another matter to take him off the account."
ME: "It IS? I mean, what do you think he's going to DO?"
CASHIER (blushing): "Well, you're right of course, but his account is still a viable account on our computers."
ME: "Oh."
CASHIER: "So.....do....you....want...to...take...him...off...the...."
ME (interrupting) "I....I think Jim would want to be off the account, yes. Let's take him OFF the account. Because he doesn't want to BE on the account anymore."
CASHIER (looking at me like I'm the kid from THE EXORCIST) "Certainly, Mrs. Morgan. I will be glad to take him off the account, then. If you will just step over to the middle chair over there, over there in front of the desk, we can begin the procedure."
ME: "The procedure?"
CASHIER: "Well, we will have to create a NEW account for YOU."
ME: "But I already HAVE an account here. I've had an account for nearly forty years."
CASHIER: "Yes, but it was a JOINT account and now that we are taking your husband OFF the account, you will need a NEW account."
ME: "Oh. I can't just use the account number we had and you can't just, like, erase his name?"
CASHIER: "I'm sorry, no. That just won't do. We can't just 'erase his name". We can't give you your old account number. We are going to make you a NEW account!" (She says this like she's saying, 'Cinderella SHALL go to the ball!")
ME: "Okay."
I sit down in the middle chair. I pick up a paper clip. I unbend it and stick both points into the palm of my right hand until it hurts. None of this makes me sad. It makes me crazy. It makes me so crazy that I can't tell who is crazier, them or me. I am given the new account number. I am given a smile. Two smiles. Three smiles. They just want me out of here, I can tell. I am upsetting them.

The higher the resistance and the larger the ohm, the slower the flow.