IT'S TUESDAY, OR WHATEVER

"And, like, so I said to him, like, 'Okay, whatever. I mean, don't EVEN. Don't EVEN go there. Like, what is WITH him? He's like, you know, he's like that GUY who.....well, you know. THAT guy. That guy who shows up but just can't be PRESENT. Because I can tell. I can, like, you know, I can TELL when somebody's There or, like, NOT there."

Uh.......WHERE?

And....where will the word "awesome" go when everybody under the age of forty gets done with it? Is there a black hole? Remember 'issue'? I once watched as a woman ran over at least one-fourth of a man's goot - and when my the man screamed, the woman rolled down her car window and said, "Well, I'm sorry you had an ISSUE with that."

Okay, whatever.



Issue. Like. Whatever. Present. Don't EVEN. Awesome. Cool. Yeah, no. So. SO not. It's SO you. So........I can't think of any more....oh! Except for the word "Challenge." Someone will come in and say, "My husband left me and my kid's on meth and the heat's been turned off and there are just all these CHALLENGES." CHALLENGES? Are you kidding? Challenges? How about "Really big horrible fucking PROBLEMS?" Challenges. I love that one. Like American's don't have big throbbing heartbreaking situations anymore, they have these......um, challenges. Like we're not supposed to complain. NOT SUPPOSED TO COMPLAIN? How come? Why not? What's happened NOW?

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Oh, here. I love this epigram: "Wanting to meet an author because you like his work is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate." That's Margaret Atwood. That's a good one.

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I've been reading Groucho Marx lately. I love the time a snooty racist posh girl's school wrote to Groucho, saying that his little girl couldn't attend their school because she was "half Jewish". And he immediately wrote back, saying, "Oh my God! WHICH HALF? Tell me which half and I'll chop it off and send you the REST!"

"Well, those are my principles," Groucho once said. "if you don't like them, I have others."
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Tuesdays. I love Tuesday because it's the day the Science section shows up in the New York Times. It means Monday is officially over. And it's one of the days I don't wash my hair (Monday/Thursday/ Saturday). My hair doesn't need to be washed every day anymore. My hair has too many challenges for me to have to wash it every day any more. Any more. And...presently. "Presently" is weird, because it doesn't mean "now". It means "soon, very soon, but not right now." Doesn't it? Now I'm not so sure.
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You're too hard on yourself. "In every city, at the same time, therapists earned their living by saying, "You're too hard on yourself."
- Renata Adler
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THE GODFATHER. That movie alone brought scads of good lingo"In Siciliy women are more dangerous than shotguns."

"I'm gona make him an offer he can't refuse."
"Leave the gun. Take the cannolis."
"It's an old Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."
"And watch for the kids when you're backin' out."
"He's thinking of goin' to the mattresses already."
"This is business, nothing personal."
"Just when I thought I was out...they PULLED me back in!"

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Okay, okay. It is well known amongst my friends (is it 'among' or 'amongst'?) that I love THE GODFATHER movies. I once took myself to a big showing of The Godfather. Spaghetti and red wine were served. I'd been excited about this night for days. I had it in my head that there'd be all these people who'd know all the lines, just like I knew all the lines, and that they'd say them out loud and together, just like I planned to do. The movie came on. Three minutes later, nobody but me was saying the lines out loud. I slumped down in my seat. I shut up. I ate the spaghet. I drank my wine.
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Well, I guess that's it for Tuesday, or whatever. I'm going to walk downtown and pick up the new book on Graphic Arts that I ordered from Eagle Harbor Books, and get the New York Times. I'll pace my way through the proportions of my daily life, a client hour here, a client hour there, here a client hour, there a client hour, everywhere a client hour, until it's six o'clock. And then I'll put in a movie. Even though it's not my favorite, it'll be Godfather Three. And then ".....I'll never tell anyone outside the family what I'm thinking again."