Try A Little Gratitude

In writing a eulogy for Lucretia Eddy, my best friend, Christine Dosa's mother, I ran across this quote from the philosopher Abraham Joshua Heschel: "The truth of being human is gratitude. The secret of existence is appreciation, it's significance is revealed in reciprocity. Humankind will not die for lack of information; it may perish for lack of appreciation."

Today I am thinking about gratitude.

The above picture features Aleister in a rare moment of allowing a camera to catch him in a big smile, his Mom Angela, and me; photo taken by Alan. The camera clicked just after Aleister just informed us that "Sometimes I just like to go with the flow of other people....as long as their flow feels like a proper flow." I am grateful for Aleister. Grateful for Angela. Grateful for Alan. Grateful for this reality which I live, day after day, my house in Bainbridge, my patients, my books, the few friends I have been able to make despite my crazy schedule, the many friends I love but do not see nearly often enough and the plans I make to see them, grateful for my daughters Kelly and Erin, grateful for the Dietz's and my deep love for them as well as for Steve and Katy, grateful for Christine and my Cousin Linda and my friends Magge and Robin, grateful for my dear Dr. Buskirk, my psychiatric supervisor, whom I have been with for eight years, now.

I am even (sometimes) grateful for my chronic pain, which has informed me of human frailty and how much compassion is needed in the health field, mental or physical, it doesn't matter.

I am grateful for my shampoo. I am grateful for my bar of soap. I am grateful for cold water. I am grateful for hot water. I am grateful to have toothpaste and my new electric toothbrush which Alan bought me. I am grateful to be able to read my self-imposed number of two books a week. I am grateful for my wardrobe of (mostly) black clothes. I am grateful for my engagement ring, which surrounds my finger like a demanding lover.

I am grateful for my friend and fiance and lover, Alan.
Here he is.



It has been said that realism is "the belief that things are in reality as they appear to be in the mind". Well, perhaps that's true. If true, then Alan is one big smart fun kind hottie, both in and outside my mind. He's....authentic, which is one of the decade's overu sed words to be sure, but there you go and here he is. He IS authentic. And I am grateful for knowing him. I can not, can not, can not imagine not having met him. How could it be, not to have met him? How could that have even been possible? I suppose all lovers spend plenty of time questioning each other on this one.....if only I hadn't showed up at the.....if only you hadn't sent that.....if only I hadn't answered the....if only you hadn't made that call....if only...if only.....But yes, my God! It's true! We all cook the facts in our favor, but, Wow! If only!

"For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
- Shakespeare, Hamlet

Forget Yoga. Forget Yogurt. Forget flat stomachs. Forget Botox. Forget ipods. Just sit there and consider what you live with every day that you are grateful for. And WHO you are grateful for. Cereal. Soap. Milk. Your garden. Dirt. That hummingbird. Old Ray Charle's songs. Your bath tub. Your shower. Your hair. Your bald head. Your legs. Your teeth. Your false teeth. Your telephone. Your nail clippers. Your robe. Your windows. Your electric lights. Your candles. Your radio. NPR.

Go ahead. This could go on for years. Try a little gratitude.