Aleister, Alan, the Octopus, Gertrude and Me

On the way to the Seattle Aquarium, Aleister showed Alan and me his new pink braces. "I have decided to give up my fear of the color pink," he said, with a big grin on his face. "Mama Kay. Do you remember when I would not even look at the 'pink aisles' in stores like Target and Fred Meyers'?" "Yes, I do, Aleister," I said, remembering all those times we would have to slink by the girls' toy and clothing aisles as if we were allergic to anything having to do with the feminine sex. "Well," he said, "pointing at his braces," I have decided to embrace my boyness and include girls inside my life. It is GOOD to be different. And girls LIKE boys who are different......don't they?" His voice ended up on an upward, somewhat plaintive note. "Yes, oh, YES, ALeister" I responded. Angella nodded. Alan nodded. Aleister grinned. Alan, Aleister and I put on our warm coats and hats and headed out to the car. We had a ferry to catch.

In Seattle, as Alan parked the car, Aleister came up to me and said, "Mama Kay. Do not worry about if I like Alan or not. In fact, I LOVE Alan. AND he is becoming quite the family member!" I smiled and hugged him. "He IS?" I said. "Yes," Aleister said. "Mom likes him, Charlie likes him, and Grandma likes him. That's one hundred per cent. I don't think he can do much better than that."

Inside the aquarium, Mr. 100% and Aleister jostled around like a couple of kids, then settled down while Alan led Aleister over to the octopus and gave Allie lessons on what an octopus actually feels like, with its suckers traveling all the way down its arms. How amazing, how sad, that an octopus, intelligent creature that he is, can exist in such a small space inside an aquarium.As a practiced snorkeler, Alan has been "held" by an octopus, which I know I would count as being the No. 1 worst thing that had ever happened to me (if it were ever to happen to me), but Alan gets a nostalgic look in his eye whenever he speaks about it. He is one of those people who actually thinks that an octopus is beautiful. I try to keep this in mind whenever he says that he finds ME beautiful. A little active realism never hurt anyone.

We saw sharks. We saw tropical fish so radiantly beautiful they turn up the volumne on one's belief in Something Religious. We saw furry otters. Seals. Starfish. Jellyfish. Stingrays. And, outside the aquarium, we saw tall buildings, restaurants, foreign ships, and water, water everywhere.

I am not comparing the octopus to Alan when I say that here we have two beings, Aleister and Alan, who both find two other beings - in one case human, in the other case, a carnivorous marine mollusk - - lovable. Despite the fact that Aleister loved his Grandpa Jim with his entire heart and soul, he has taken to Alan with the very same heart and soul, which means that ALeister has three characteristics completely and wholly intact: trust, acceptance and hope. And Alan, in his love for the mysteriously gray fleshy body of the octopus, so different in its irridescent gray muscularity than our own, also possesses his own rigorous (and unusual) set of trust and acceptance. He's not kidding. He DOES not the octopus, as well as a number of other creatures and critters and peoples other folks might run away from. Which is one of the reasons I love both Aleister and Alan.

And me? I need to be around this kind of ability to love. I need it the way some need water. I need it the way some need exercise. And, like my beloeved Gertrude Stein said, "It is inevitable, when one has a great need of something, one finds it. What you need, you attract like a lover."